Sexual harassment 101

Once a month or so we have plant wide meetings at the good ol' distribution center where management tells us how things are going, where we're headed and generally blowing smoke up our, well you know. These meeting are also used for instructional purposes, where MSDS's are located, what to do in case of a spill and all the way from the home office ethics training. Ethics training usually takes the form of videos where 'actors' are playing out dramatic scenes, often to comedic effect, to teach us a lesson. Sort of like School House Rock without the cartoons and cool songs. This month our lesson was on sexual harassment.(I prefer her-as-ment but if your prefer hair-as-ment, I'm fine with that. It takes all kinds.) The vid. starts with Ann showing new girl Anita around the shop floor (the facts are the same the names have been change to protect the, well actually because I don't remember them) when Ann remembers she's suppose to have Anita at personnel by 11 but Ann doesn't have a watch on,and apparently there's no clocks on the wall and she must have left her cell phone at her desk, so she asks Jim (our heel in this scenario) if he's got the time. (No Ann! What are you thinking?) Jim's cagey reply is, 'I've got the time if you've got the energy'. While Ann looks a little put out she still fires back, 'You couldn't keep up.' So Jim, encouraged by this no doubt, fires off a few salvos of very thinly veiled innuendo which Ann deflects. Then Jim takes aim on the new girl, Anita, after all Jim and Ann aren't exclusive, he's a playa'. Jim says she'll be a great asset to the company and that he'll definitely keep an eye on her, then he nods and (holy shit batman) winks at them before strutting away. After Jim's departure Anita is aghast she asks Ann, 'How do you put up with that?' Anita say's , 'Aw, that's just how Jim is, you'll get use to him.' Well Anita and Ann have a nice little convo in which we find that Ann doesn't like Jim's remarks but assumes she just has to put up with it, because he's always been that way. Then the video presentation stops and we're asked a couple of questions about what was right and wrong and what the characters and us should do if we should ever find ourselves in this situation. The right answer generally involves some form of talk to them and then tell supervision. We've even got a hot-line number if you don't feel comfortable talking to someone on the premises, which is a good thing even though this blog is of course tongue-in-check. Two things really bothered me about this little info-drama, let us take a look at them. Shall we? Now let's go back a little bit and have a closer look at Jim, first off the two ladies are attired in clothing suitable for an office environment and are out in the 'shop', Jim on the other hand is t-shirt and jeans, regular work-a-day Joe, or Jim in this case. Jim is graying late thirties/early forties, he's got a bit of a paunch and the sneer of a paunchy, graying late thirties/early forties single man watching the high school cheerleaders practicing splits and kicks. He comes on all cocksure and smooth criminal like and it fits him like that bra fit the chick on Sienfield (if it doesn't fit you must acquit). So it's no wonder the women are uncomfortable with this sleazy want to be Lothario trying to lay his mack down. But here's my problem, imagine this scenario, imagine Jim flirting with these girls and now imagine that Jim is white! (lol,Sorry I'm going to use Pitt for my example and Mcconaughey had to get his two cents in.) Imagine that instead of poor perfectly cast graying, early thirties/late forties paunchy guy the role had been played by Brad Pitt, circa Thelma and Louise, all chiseled abs and a ten gallon hat of southern charm and he'd a said with a sly sideways smile, 'I got the time if you've got the energy.' You think these ladies would still have been creeped out or would they have been all batting eyelashes, bated breath, tittering little school girls. It's still technically sexual harassment (or hair-as-ment if you prefer) regardless of who says it but it's definitely not going to be reported if it's enjoyed.  The second thing that bothered me about this info-soap-drama was that our little Snidely Whiplash, Jim, this cockalorum, this braggadocio, this swaggering sultan of sleaze, this plucked pea-cock, this impudent imp, this brazen would be Don Juan, this big pimpin' faux-mack daddy, this eye-winking, head nodding, son of a bitch never told Ann what time it was! (Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol.)

So boys and girls what did we learn today? The beautiful people of the world get by with a lot more crap than the rest of us can and small insignificant facts can really drive me to distraction.  In closing I'd like to share a quote that combines our topic of sexual harassment (or hair-es-ment, if you prefer) and my goal of comedy.

"Joey. Do you like movies about gladiators?"