Reviews and well more reviews (Fluke, some Shakespeare, Sucker Punch...)

Okay a bit of random reviewing, first off -- Fluke, Or I Know Why the Winged Whale Sings by the talented and hilarious Christopher Moore. Not only is Moore a very funny writer but he has a gift for creating memorable characters, ask any of his fans and they'll recount some of their favorites (Kendra Warrior Babe of the Outland and Theo, Tucker Case and Roberto, Biff and Josh just to name a few) and this book is no exception. There's Nate and Amy and Kona and Clay and Clair and a few others, each one coming to life on the page. This isn't one of Moore's funniest books, it had laughs but not as many lol moments as some of his others but I really liked the kinda sci/fi element of the book. It starts off as a save the whales, eco-adventure with lots of 'action nerds' as Nate likes to say and then descends (like 600 and something feet below sea level) into a semi-Apocalypse Now thiller/sci-fi/comedy. I don't want to give too much away but I can't help but bastardizing one of my favorite Hemingway quotes-- Sometimes a story about a fish is just a story about a fish but other times a story about a fish is really a story about bio-mechanical submarines. lol (I'm probably the only person that finds this amusing but damn it it's my blog so suck it.)
Next review Henry the VI the trilogy by Bill Shakespeare. Henry the VI was sort of a mamby-pamby (at least Shakespeare's rendition of him) his pops, Henry V, was a warrior that conquered France and rallied the troops -Once more into the breach- but died of dysentery (I believe it was) and left his young son to be king. The three parts of Henry VI are really more about the war of the roses than about Henry and about how the Lancasters lost out to the Yorks and Edward the IV declared himself king only to eventually be replaced by that humpbacked abomination and royal pain in the ass Richard III but that's the next play. These plays can be a little tricky to follow, sometimes you just have to go with it, so many of the characters are know by different names and sometimes even change names as titles are being bandied about. It makes you wonder how England didn't collapse on itself the way the different houses warred over the crown.
Now for a quick couple of movie reviews- Sucker Punch, my 15 year old and I went and saw this and while he really liked it I thought it was just okay. It wasn't bad but it wasn't as good as I had hoped. I wanted to be blown away like I was with the first Matrix movie or with 300 and this looked to be a visual wonder but so much of the surreal action scenes looked just like a video game. There were some grand visual moments even so, one shot of Baby Doll barley clearing the fire of a fire breathing dragon and then a shot down her samurai sword as she turns it in the air and brings it to bear on the dragon was really cool. The story had potential and the twist or sucker punch near the end, while not real surprising, was pretty cool. I liked the narration at the end, I don't believe it gives anything away to repeat it, I don't remember it word for word but the gist of it was that it was up to us to fight our fights and that we had all the strength we would need.
Burlesque- with Cher and Christina Aguilera as a burlesque club owner and a waitress /dancer want-to-be. Parts of the movie were predictable Christina gets her big break, things look rough for awhile and then it all wraps up with a big hollywood happy ending. But predictable isn't always bad and there were even a few times when it didn't go the way you would think and that was nice, but really the best part of the movie were the dance scenes. The most incongruous moments were when Cher and Christina sang big power-ballad solo's that, while sounding really nice, didn't really fit within the story but ego is ego and ego must be fed.
Finally in the review category- The Switch - with Jennifer Aniston and Jason Bateman. Talk about predictable, just another romantic comedy that while enjoyable will run together with others in your head till you can't remember what happened in which one. Aniston seems to like these kinds of movies. Over all it was pretty good, although it did get on my nerves for awhile when Bateman's character can't tell Aniston how he really feels until the most inappropriate moment to do so, big surprise.
Enough with the reviews, I've got  one more thing to share if any one is still reading. The whole time I was reading Fluke and even before really We Were The Mulvaneys by Joyce Carol Oates had been giving me the siren call. I would walk by and look at my bookshelf and it always pulled my eyes to it, beckoning me to read. I don't know what it is about this book that's captivated me but I know as soon as I finished Fluke I picked it up and cracked it's spine and dove right in with a bit of an electrifying thrill. I've not heard much about the book nor do I know much about the author but I'm hooked so far, I'm just a chapter or so in but I'm enjoying it to this point. I just hope it isn't too melodramatic, that's my fear. I'll let you know.

Idolatrous - a love song

I could be a knight Templar and you could be the grail I find.

Or I could be a pilgrim and you could be my holy shrine.

I'd offer up my supplications, I'd lay them at your feet

because every prayer I've ever prayed you just made complete.

That's why I prostrate myself and beg for your love.

Praying for your kisses like mana from above.

I know you wont like my analogy much,

but baby please don't fuss.

The way I covet your slightest touch,

the way I feel for you must be idolatrous.

I thought my faith must be dead

and if I had a soul it was too far gone.

But now I'm writing down in red, every word you said

and worshiping the very ground you walk on.

You've brought mystery back into my life

and I'm so blessed to have a goddess for a wife.

That's why I prostrate myself and beg for your love.

Praying for your kisses like mana from above.

I know you wont like my analogy much,

but baby please don't fuss.

The way I covet your slightest touch,

the way I feel for you must be idolatrous.

You can be my Diana, my Aphrodite, you could be my Athena or my good God almighty

I know you don't like my analogy much

but baby I get so amorous

with just your slightest touch

it must be idolatrous.

A+ Behavior

 In Sunday School this morning the question was asked what would you rank your behavior, on average. The teacher asked at each grade level (A,B,C...) and folks would raise there hands at where they thought they fell. Well I'm not much of one for class participation, never have been and so I didn't raise my hand any, the teacher noticed though and so asked me point blank what grade I'd have. When I wasn't immediately forthcoming she said if I didn't answer then she would grade me, I told her to go ahead. She gave me a D. What? Others in the class at first said they figured I was a B, B+ but then pointed out I was too quite at church which probably meant I was more of the D the teach. had leveled at me. I laughed, I thought it was all funny. After class I told Araine that I had actually given myself and A+ but when no one else even gave themselves and A I thought perhaps I was thinking a little too highly of myself. ;-)

Book review - Peter and the Star Catchers and some random thoughts.

 It's been awhile since my last book review and that's because it took me awhile to get through Peter and the Starcatchers by Ridley Pearson and Dave Barry. It's not that the book is that long it's that it just took forever for me to get into it and when I'm not into a book I don't seem to find the time to read as much as when I am. I love J.M. Barrie's Peter Pan and when I saw this book, it's suppose to be a prequel to Pan, several years ago I wanted to read it and it's just taken till now to get to it, it was not worth the wait. The first half of the book is very slow in it's build up, the tempo doesn't pick up and the story doesn't get interesting until the pirates board Peter's ship which is almost half-way through the book. Early on I realized if I was going to get any enjoyment out of this book, and there is some joy to be had from it, I had to let go of the prequel to Peter Pan idea and just read it as a story on it's on, a story that just happens to have some similarities to Peter Pan. Because this Peter is not the  Peter we all know and love. "The" Peter Pan is an archetype of adolescence, brash, brazen and bold. He's always ready for an adventure, he'll switch sides in the middle of a fight, he gets moody when he doesn't get his way and he doesn't understand when things aren't fair. The Peter in Starcatchers is just too precocious to ever be the Pan. The other big problem with this being a prequel is that Barrie's Peter Pan is as much a dream as he is real where as the Peter in this book is very much based on a real world. The story tries to explain all the wonderful things that just 'are' in Barrie's book and sometimes explaining things takes away all the fun.
  Now for some randomness. I shared this as a status update earlier but it's funny enough to bear repeating here, I overheard my four year old playing with two Batman figures yesterday and this is the conversation the two caped crusaders had. "I know your Batman." "You know Batman can turn into a kitty. Meow, meow." lol    
Now a story about the wee one, who's almost two now, he and I were sharing a can of roasted almonds and he squats down in the floor and starts putting almonds into his diaper, so of course I say, "Boy you already got two nuts in there you don't need any more."  Well he, despite my admonitions not too, puts the almonds in there and he's walking around and then he pulls them out and starts to put him in his mouth. Ewww. So I yell, "Sam don't eat those!" Thankfully he listened this time, and dropped them in the floor. I threw them away and then grabbed me some hand sanitizer.

Well I suppose that's all for now, I hope every one has a good week. Now let's go, "second  to the right and straight on till morning".

Sexual harassment 101

Once a month or so we have plant wide meetings at the good ol' distribution center where management tells us how things are going, where we're headed and generally blowing smoke up our, well you know. These meeting are also used for instructional purposes, where MSDS's are located, what to do in case of a spill and all the way from the home office ethics training. Ethics training usually takes the form of videos where 'actors' are playing out dramatic scenes, often to comedic effect, to teach us a lesson. Sort of like School House Rock without the cartoons and cool songs. This month our lesson was on sexual harassment.(I prefer her-as-ment but if your prefer hair-as-ment, I'm fine with that. It takes all kinds.) The vid. starts with Ann showing new girl Anita around the shop floor (the facts are the same the names have been change to protect the, well actually because I don't remember them) when Ann remembers she's suppose to have Anita at personnel by 11 but Ann doesn't have a watch on,and apparently there's no clocks on the wall and she must have left her cell phone at her desk, so she asks Jim (our heel in this scenario) if he's got the time. (No Ann! What are you thinking?) Jim's cagey reply is, 'I've got the time if you've got the energy'. While Ann looks a little put out she still fires back, 'You couldn't keep up.' So Jim, encouraged by this no doubt, fires off a few salvos of very thinly veiled innuendo which Ann deflects. Then Jim takes aim on the new girl, Anita, after all Jim and Ann aren't exclusive, he's a playa'. Jim says she'll be a great asset to the company and that he'll definitely keep an eye on her, then he nods and (holy shit batman) winks at them before strutting away. After Jim's departure Anita is aghast she asks Ann, 'How do you put up with that?' Anita say's , 'Aw, that's just how Jim is, you'll get use to him.' Well Anita and Ann have a nice little convo in which we find that Ann doesn't like Jim's remarks but assumes she just has to put up with it, because he's always been that way. Then the video presentation stops and we're asked a couple of questions about what was right and wrong and what the characters and us should do if we should ever find ourselves in this situation. The right answer generally involves some form of talk to them and then tell supervision. We've even got a hot-line number if you don't feel comfortable talking to someone on the premises, which is a good thing even though this blog is of course tongue-in-check. Two things really bothered me about this little info-drama, let us take a look at them. Shall we? Now let's go back a little bit and have a closer look at Jim, first off the two ladies are attired in clothing suitable for an office environment and are out in the 'shop', Jim on the other hand is t-shirt and jeans, regular work-a-day Joe, or Jim in this case. Jim is graying late thirties/early forties, he's got a bit of a paunch and the sneer of a paunchy, graying late thirties/early forties single man watching the high school cheerleaders practicing splits and kicks. He comes on all cocksure and smooth criminal like and it fits him like that bra fit the chick on Sienfield (if it doesn't fit you must acquit). So it's no wonder the women are uncomfortable with this sleazy want to be Lothario trying to lay his mack down. But here's my problem, imagine this scenario, imagine Jim flirting with these girls and now imagine that Jim is white! (lol,Sorry I'm going to use Pitt for my example and Mcconaughey had to get his two cents in.) Imagine that instead of poor perfectly cast graying, early thirties/late forties paunchy guy the role had been played by Brad Pitt, circa Thelma and Louise, all chiseled abs and a ten gallon hat of southern charm and he'd a said with a sly sideways smile, 'I got the time if you've got the energy.' You think these ladies would still have been creeped out or would they have been all batting eyelashes, bated breath, tittering little school girls. It's still technically sexual harassment (or hair-as-ment if you prefer) regardless of who says it but it's definitely not going to be reported if it's enjoyed.  The second thing that bothered me about this info-soap-drama was that our little Snidely Whiplash, Jim, this cockalorum, this braggadocio, this swaggering sultan of sleaze, this plucked pea-cock, this impudent imp, this brazen would be Don Juan, this big pimpin' faux-mack daddy, this eye-winking, head nodding, son of a bitch never told Ann what time it was! (Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol.)

So boys and girls what did we learn today? The beautiful people of the world get by with a lot more crap than the rest of us can and small insignificant facts can really drive me to distraction.  In closing I'd like to share a quote that combines our topic of sexual harassment (or hair-es-ment, if you prefer) and my goal of comedy.

"Joey. Do you like movies about gladiators?"

These old bones and of course a book review.

I had a pretty nice and way too short weekend. I feel like the last three days have been spent in a time vortex. Friday night the eight hours I spent at work seem to have lasted just shy of infinity and then the past two days flew past like wind through the sun roof on a gorgeous faux-spring day. I worked on my van some and seeing as how I'm neither a mechanic nor a handy-man I didn't accomplish too much but I did manage to clean my battery cables and get my battery looking nice, so that's something. I watched the slam dunk contest Sat. night it was pretty entertaining and watched The Big Lebowski which I thought I would like so much better than I actually did, dude. Saturday night also found me fighting a headache most of the evening, worse one I've had in some time. It's mostly gone but ever so often it hints at wanting to hurt again. I think perhaps it's something in the air. Pollen? Maybe. Sunday found me trying to watch the Daytona 500, I like racing but it just takes way too long to finish a race so I usually end up napping and reading during the race. I really don't like the new style of racing they're doing this year with the two car drafts, a car can't do anything on it's own and they have to wait until the last lap to make a move. So I watched it, but just sort of. Sunday afternoon Alex and I played a few games of back yard b-ball, he won two out of three, and it was lots of fun and good exercise. Of course old man that I am I spent Sunday evening watching the NBA all star game with an ice pack on my knee and today I can barley make it up and down the stairs. The NBA all star game was good, in the second half. The first half the East didn't really play too much and it was just the Kobe Bryant show, Lebron came back from half-time fired up and made it a close game. The West still won however and Kobe still got MVP, but at least it was a game.

Now on to the books. I finished The Sandman volume two The Dollhouse this weekend, very, very creepy. I'm not a fan of serial killer stuff and this one was chock full o' them, it really wasn't my cup of tea throughout much of it but Gaiman made it all alright toward the end. I believe he used the killers (he even says as much when Morpheus confronts the Corinthian) to mirror the darker impulses of humanity. Not sure where this comic goes but I'm sure it will be twisted and interesting.
I also finished reading Like Water For Chocolate by Laura Esquivel. Good book and very different than anything I've ever read, our heroine Tita unwillingly infuses the food she cooks with the emotions and feeling she has as she cooks them. This is a love story, where love isn't an emotion but a force of nature and God help who or whatever tries to stand in it's way. While there were parts of this book I wished had gone other ways overall I loved the way the writer takes you different directions and leaves you hoping and pulling for Tita, and the ending... wow. That's all I'm going to say. The style of the book is unique as well, it's written as a cook book with each month holding a different recipe that's tied to the events going on in the chapter.