Matriarch

ma·tri·arch (mtr-ärk)
n.
1. A woman who rules a family, clan, or tribe.
2. A woman who dominates a group or an activity.
3. A highly respected woman who is a mother.
matri·archal (-ärkl), matri·archic (-ärkk) adj.
matri·archal·ism n.

The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition copyright ©2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Updated in 2009. Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Matriarch, a mother who leads and guides her family and in the case of Araine's grandmother, Inez Nanney, that included a husband, 3 children, 6 grandchildren, 10 great grandchildren and would in a few months have included a great great grand as well. Inez, know to most of us as Gran, left us this week. In truth I believe she left us sometime before then but the body with it's strong survival instinct held on as long as it could, which was until this past Thursday when, surrounded by her family, she passed into (I know I used this in my last blog but I feel it so appropriate to use it again) what Peter Pan referred to as the greatest adventure of all. The service, which was beautiful and befitting to a woman such as Gran, was Saturday. I had the honor of being a pallbearer, helping to carry this great woman to her final resting place. During the service Rainey's eldest cousin, the first of the 6 grandchildren, spoke of his remembrances of Gran. How he had spent so much time and so much of his life at her feet, and in her kitchen. How many of us I wonder can separate memories of our grandmothers from memories of food, I know I can't see a fried apple pie without remembering my maternal grandmother, and I know no one in Rainey's family will ever eat dressing or creamed corn without remembering Gran. As Araine and I drove back after the grave side service we talked about our memories of Gran, Araine of course had know Gran her whole life and I had the pleasure of knowing her for more than 20 years, and it's funny that we both have the same mental picture of her sitting in her rocker on her front porch with Pop breaking green beans or shucking corn. Pop and Gran, it's hard to imagine one without the other, they were married for 68 years and unlike so many older couples one sees who never touch or show emotion to one another, you could tell they truly loved one another. Countless times I remember seeing Pop lean over and kiss Gran or seen them sitting beside each other or holding hands, I just hope 48 years from now Araine and I will still be loving each other as strongly as these 2 did. They were married in Gaffney and if I remember the story correctly they paid the preacher with a goat, shortly afterward Pop went into the Army and Gran raised there oldest for 2 years on her own. I've heard a number of stories over the years about what a character Pop was, and in truth still is, how he would say he was leaving and pack his bag but only packed neck ties and Gran held the family together. Over the years there were many ups and downs, and Gran held the family together. Pop and Gran were instrumental many times in mine and Araines life as well, helping to raise Rainey during troubled times in her life and getting us set up in our first home when I got out of the Air Force and I'm sure in many other varied and subtle ways as well. I want to close this blog with what I feel is one of the most touching things I've ever seen or heard of- after Gran passed they painted her toenails and put a star sticker on one of them and then all her daughters and grand daughters painted their nails with the same polish and put the little star stickers on as well. Goodbye Gran, we loved you very much.