Starting with the man in the mirror

To stay still to long is to stagnate, atrophy and die. Change is part and parcel with the universe in which we live. From the largest of galaxies to the smallest of atoms everything is in flux. People are born, the grow up, move on, they come in and out of our lives and eventually pass on to what Peter Pan referred to as the greatest adventure of all. My youngest who only a few weeks ago was a little baby is up and walking and into everything, so much so I've threaten to change his middle name from Wit to Make a Mess. It has a nice indigenous feel to it,don't you think? My oldest who was born so premature we lived for months in constant fear of his taking that great adventure much to soon is almost 15 now and nearly as big as I am. In fact he picked me up off the ground yesterday. I'm no astrophysicist but I believe change to be the only constant we can count on.
So is this to be a blog of philosophical speculation on the nature of life as we know it? No. This blog is meant to be much more ego-centric, more to do with changes in me. Over the past few months I feel I've grown more into my own skin than I've been in quite some time. One reason I've never been able to get to involved with politics is because my beliefs and convictions have changed so much over my life swaying from one side to another and back again to the point where I'm afraid to state an opinion for fear of having to retract or contradict it a few weeks or even days later. Politics and religion have always been arenas where one has to feel they have all the truth on their side otherwise how can you be zealous of your beliefs. To illustrate, I once went on a trip with my dad's church in which several people got into a religious discussion on different translations of the bible, my dad could tell I was not enjoying the discussion. I talked with him later and told him I couldn't understand how they could be so certain in what they believed to which he, very enlighteningly replied, they have to be certain in order to believe it. Which I guess is why I've never been able to maintain belief. There's a great Calvin and Hobbes comic in which Calvin at the beginning of the strip is drawn in an abstract way to where you can see each side of everything after a few panels he reverts back to his normal appearance and says he's tired of trying to see all sides of issues, he's going back to looking at them from just one perspective. So, to get back on track, it is with a bit of reserve that I say my character has solidified more over the last few months. But I do, honestly, feel more settled on what I believe and what I feel, on what I like and dislike and feel more secure in who I am. Perhaps I'm finally maturing? Could be, I still refuse to grow up though. I saw a sign the other day that said the best fathers are still kids at heart, while I am miles away from being the best father I'd like to think that I can still relate to being a kid.
The biggest change in my life right now, from an outside perspective anyway, is my change in jobs within Wix. I'm not only changing sifts but am taking on a position with leadership responsibilities, a role I wouldn't have taken for anything a year ago. You see the changes in my internal view of myself have allowed me to take on bigger challenges in the external world. It seems a little self confidence can go a long way. One of the reasons I've become such a fan of Doctor Who lately is his, at times, overbearing self confidence as when he calls down a fleet of alien spaceships and tells them he protects the earth and that if there smart, they'll run. Which of course they do.
Now, I'll not be defending earth from aliens anytime soon (I hope) but I do feel more comfortable saying- Hi, I'm Chad and this is who I am.