"I think you're all f'd in the head. We're ten hours from the f'ing fun park and you want to bail out. Well I'll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun. I'm gonna have fun and you're gonna have fun. We're all gonna have so much f'ing fun we'll need plastic surgeory to remove our gd smiles. You'll be whistling 'Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah' out of you're assholes! I gotta be crazy! I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose. Praise Marty Moose! Holy Shit!" Clark W. Griswold, Vacation.
In just a few long days the fam and I will be loading up the wagon(van)and heading out, not on a vacation as Clark so eloquently put it but on a quest for fun. We've got reservations made and we're ready to swim, slide, shop and ride. All we really have to worry about for those four days and three nights is not killing each other, other wise will be worry free. Nothing is as great as making memories with your family and lets face it nothing can drive you as Griswoldingly batshit as the same exact thing. I think all us dads have a little Clark W. in us that builds up expectations of what our vacations should be, ideals drawn up from to many travel brochures and board game commercials. I mean look at the back of a board game there's usually a picture of a family gathered around a game board laughing and having fun. Have any of you ever done that? I've played games with friends and loved it, Rainey and I use to love to play games and you can even play a game with one kid and have fun. But a whole family enjoying a board game? Those pictures on the back are taken right when the game starts and everyone is thinking- yeah I'm going to win this, if it were taken a few minutes later barbs would be flying and tears a streaming. And the travel commercials where everyone is still and quiet and the dad says- I can go 300 more miles. Give me a break. That's why we have so many melt downs and disappointments because we fantasize and plan our family fun in advance and then it never goes that way. Why? Because children aren't personality free little beings doing whatever you think is fun. They have strong, infuriating, wonderful personality's and they don't always mesh. On top of that they're siblings, and siblings are life's way of teaching us how to argue. I remember once my sister and I were playing Monopoly (this was before Nintendo) and after we had played for awhile she decided she was done, and who can blame her the game goes on forever. Well, I for one blamed her. I remember I got all perturbed and slung the game across the room yelling at her for, I don't know, ruining the game or something. My children are the same they can play for a little while and then it breaks down into a royal rumble. There are many vacations I can remember when everything just went to hell in a hand basket but even in those times there were still some great moments. For example one year we didn't get the room we thought we were going to get and we all ended up crammed into one room and it was terribly hot and some one stole one of our beach towels and we had an overall horrible time but that was also the year Maddie and I went to the waterpark together and we had an incredible time, made some memories I hope will both always keep.
So if driving 5 plus hours packed in a van like sardines to try and eek out a little fun sounds like something only insane people would do, well your wrong. Yes we are insane but we've learned some things over the years. Little tips that help us to have a good time, every year we try to go over our list and add to it if we can. It's work for several years now and here's hoping it works some more. So while not set in stone or even all encompassing here are the tips.
Tips for having a fun family vacation
1. Have more than one room. You've got to be able to spread out and have a little alone time.
2. Don't insist everyone do everything. You can't go off and leave a 4 year old in the room by himself but he doesn't have to play putt-putt.
3. Divide and conquer. This goes along with number 2, I'll take the ones that want to do this, you take the ones that want to do that.
4. You don't have to be busy the whole time. Yes I know they can watch Spongebob and play video games at home but it's okay to do it on vacation too.
5. Don't try to play board games with everyone. See the above paragraphs for more info.
6. You don't have to be in a hurry to get there. If you need to stop every hour and let someone pee, or get a drink it's okay, it's not a race.
7. Don't plan to much ahead of time. Take a more organic approach to building the fun things you do.
and last but certainly not least
8. Don't get upset when things don't go according to plan. Someone is, not may but is, going to get sleepy and cranky and it might even be someone besides me.
So there you have it folks my 8 simple rules for not having a Clark W. Griswold melt down in the middle of vacation, the answer isn't to leave the kids at home, you can't build fond memories with them that way. The answer is to not put expectations on the trip. So while I hope we get lucky and have a really good time, I'm not expecting anything, just going to sort of go with the flow. Kinda like the lazy river.
"Poor little guy. Probably kept up with you for a mile or so.
[tearing up]
Tough little mutt... "
Sweetheart, I think you may be onto something there! I'm so excited about our family vacation and just spending some time with you, the LOVE of my life:) Since we've become parents, we've learned a lot of little things that certainly add up and can make a huge impact. I know everything will not run smoothly. Most certainly, there will be some meltdowns and blow-outs on the highway, but we will create a new memory that only we will share as a family. I can't think of anyone that I'd rather make those memories with! Watch out Myrtle Beach, here come the Spurlings, and we're on a quest for FUN!!!!!!!
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