My split personalities have split personalities.

There are lots of things I do not believe in like- Superman and Robin Hood are still alive in Hollywood, that gasolines in short supply, the rising cost of getting by, but I believe in love- , I also don't believe in astrology. It's ridiculous on a grand scale considering the light from the stars we see in the sky have been traveling toward earth for millions of years but scoff as I may you'd be hard pressed to find a more true Gemini. To say I have a dual personality would be putting it mildly. As Kattie Perry put it, I'm hot and I'm cold, I'm yes and I'm no... I pms like a bitch and she should know. I'm country, folk, pop and rock and most everything in between. I'm a cultural luve a, and a beer swilling bubba. I'm blue collar meat and potatoes with a love of bohemia. I'm a bleeding heart liberal with a conservative slant. I'm alternatively a health nut and a glutton, which leaves me soft in the middle. I love knowledge for knowledge's sake but believe the only good brains cells are the ones you kill. I believe Socrates was sadly mistaken when he said the unexamined life isn't worth living, to examine life and death and the meaning there of is to rob yourself of happiness. So think of ball games (go Panthers!) and movies and t.v too, think of women and beer and contemplate a new tatto, or think of books and stories and theater like I do. Fill your mind with deep meditative yet empty thoughts, or become a specialist in some field of astrophysics or history. Think up ideas or if you must think on ideologies, but please keep your dogma to yourself. But don't give life itself to much attention. Mostly in life I have, like electricity, followed the path of least resistance and like water always found my on level. I go from happy to miserable and back again at mach speed. I can be such a joy to live with. It has been suggested on a few occasions that I seek medicinal help, but I hold off and hope for the best. To be honest, and let's face it that seems to have become my m.o. on this blog, I'm scared to take happy pills because I want to be able to feel, to empathize, I may not like the lows but I do adore the highs. I think I'd rather live a sine wave than to live a flat line, because a flat line sounds like dying - and dying to me don't sound like that much fun... I fight authority, authority always winning- of course, I'm also the authority too. So when my wife says, "I love you, I just wish you were better," don't judge her, I know what she means.

Just when you thought things couldn't get worse

Alright so there's this guy and he inhales a pea and it buries itself in his lung and then sprouts. So like there's not enough to worry about in this world already, now the vegetables are fighting back. My question is if the pea was cooked how did it sprout? I thought cooking killed the enzymes. Maybe it was an assassin pea in a boil proof pod sent to take out the vegetable eaters of the world. Or an alien pea that would slowly turn the people of the world into pod people. This really sucks for parents. I mean it was already hard to get the kids to eat vegetables but now they're liable to be scared to death that if they eat a pea then late one night their chest will itch and when they scratch... there will be a curly little green stalk poking out! Oh the humanity. I can hear it now- 'Mom! Help I think I swallowed a pea wrong call 911', 'Don't worry son, just drink a little Round-Up that ought to do the trick'. A pea? I've eaten bean sprouts before. What are they doing to my body? Am I slowly turning into a vegetable? There are some serious moral issues that need to be addressed before this goes further. If a person turns into a vegetable is it okay to eat them? Would they be meat or vegetable or some combination there of? Could a vegan eat a vegetable person? Would they be better steamed, fried or sauteed in a nice cream sauce? I don't believe the world is ready for this. But all bullshitting aside, well mostly anyway, if this happened to this guy isn't safe to say that it's happening to others? Look around you today as your out, look at the people beside you in line at the dmv, in the car behind you at the red light, the cashier at the adult book store and think that any one of them may be incubating a plant... in their lungs.

The reports of my demise have been greatly exaggerated.

I don't watch the news, well I very rarely watch the news. I just don't like it. It's very depressing, you never hear good things on the news it's always murder, decay, corruption, society atrophying into a state of hedonistic barbarism. Those that are obsessed with the news I think would be the same ones that thrilled at the gladiator matches in the Coliseum, kind of a thirst for the blood and misery of others but in a way that doesn't leave them wringing their hands yelling at a damned spot. Or they could just want to be well informed citizens. What do I know? Nothing, because as previously stated, I very rarely watch the news. So where do I get the news? One of four places- 1. My wife tells me, 2. I hear it on the radio before I turn the station to find some music, 3. One of those little blurbs on the Road Runner home page catches my eye before I can click on the facebook link, or (and this is a new one)4. I can go to work and have everyone ask if I'm okay, they heard I had a seizure and got robbed at Wal-Mart and then come home bewildered and look up 'the news' on the Star website. So I look up the article and while I feel terrible for the guy I'm very glad it wasn't me and I can see how the mix up may have occurred. My first name is Jeremy, this guys name, and because thats whats on my check a lot of folks at work know that it is, his last name was Sperling with an e and mine of course is with a u but I don't know how to spell everyone's name I work with and so I don't expect them to know mine. So what happened is one guy heard or saw what he thought was my name (if he had read the article I don't think he would have thought it was me) and went to work and started asking people if they heard what had happened to me. lol. Now the plot thickens. It just so happens that Wednesday the day this happened I called into work so that we could go and trade Raineys van. So you got a guy thinking I've had a seizure and had my money stolen and then you have me not coming to work and by the time I got there they had started a prayer chain and were thinking of taking up a collection to help me buy the kids school clothes. OMG! It's nice to know people care about you though. I thanked them and then told them I did have to take on a car payment which I've not had in quite awhile so if they wanted to go ahead and take up a collection for me, I'd be okay with that.

www Wendesday

Without any ado, I recently finished reading Christopher Moore's hilarious Island of the Sequined Love Nun, I loved it. I am currently reading Clive Cussler's Flood Tide, a Dirk Pitt adventure, it's like the literary version of a summer action flick. Next up? Who knows, possibly American Gods by Neil Gaiman or maybe Brida by Paulo Coelho.