I've started doing a couple of daily readings, all very short mind you, because I've got a lot to do; I mean Netflix isn't going to watch itself. There are two daily devotionals I follow on Facebook (see, it's not all cat pictures), I've got an intellectual devotional with daily facts (for instance did you know some experts believe the "Mona Lisa" may have been Da Vinci painting himself as a woman?), I read a chapter or so from the New Testament, a few paragraphs from Hermann Hesse's "Siddhartha", and a section (too small to be called a chapter) in this really great (really short) book by Tai Sheridan called "Buddha in Blue Jeans: An Extremely Short Guide to Sitting Quietly and Being Buddha" (one of my favorite quotes from it is, "Events are not your ideas about them. Meet the world without expectations"). I know it sounds like a lot but it doesn't take more than 10 or so minutes to read it all. There's a lot about love in these readings, the kind of love that doesn't always come easy, the kind I struggle with quite a bit actually. The bible tells us to love our neighbors as ourselves, to love our enemies, turn the other check and all that. When Siddhartha finds rebirth at the side of the river he's filled with a love for everything, with joy for being alive. In Buddha in Blue Jeans Sheridan writes, "The object of your love doesn't matter. You are love" and "There are no walls in the world of love." So what's so hard about all this? Well, I don't know about you but when someone gives me attitude, my first reaction isn't, I love you anyway; my first reaction usually involves a passive aggressive smile and an inwardly said curse word (okay, sometimes it's an audible curse, depending on the situation). So I have to remind myself that even if someone bugs me, I should love them, that even non-ideal situations should be handled with and approached with love. I have to try and remember that it is my responsibility to control my thoughts and reactions, that I can be negative or I can be positive. Now there are situations and people who deserve rebuke and reproach but it can be done from a place of love. The hardest part of this, for me, is to let go of anger, to not respond with anger and to let go expectations of how things 'ought to be'. I find myself being a Clark Griswold as times, building up unrealistic expectations of how things should be, families are seldom like the pictures on the back of board games, where everyone is happy and laughing and having fun at the same time; no life is generally a lot messier than that.
We also watched the movie "Frozen" yesterday, and it's all about love. (I'm going to try and avoid specific spoilers here but I do want to talk about the movie some, so bear that in mind as you read.) It's neat in that while there is romantic love at play in the movie, that's not necessarily what they're talking about when they speak of true love. In the movie an act of true love saves the day and melts the frozen heart, it's also love that allows for the whole town to be saved. Love turns out to be the answer for the problem one of the characters has, she has lived her life in fear of herself and what she might do to others; fear, isolation, and regret have kept her from her family and from the world at large and it's only when she learns to love others despite all this pain that she's able to control her problem. I think this draws a great parallel to those dealing with addiction, hurt, anxiety, anger, and other problems that we think must be kept to ourselves. We think others won't understand, will judge us, will look down on us and so we hide away (physically or mentally) until the problem becomes out of our control. But if we would love ourselves and then love others as ourselves and open ourselves up to be loved by others then perhaps we could learn to control our 'problems' before they get away from us. In "Buddha in Blue Jeans" the author has a section about giving yourself to life, to others such as family, friends, and society at large and about giving yourself to immaterial things like creativity, and spirituality; the point being we need to open ourselves to the possibilities of life and love. As a somewhat introverted person at times this can be a struggle for me as well.
Now to the more fun kind of love, romantic love. I've shared my thoughts on this before but I think they might bear repeating. There's a great feeling called love in which your whole being seems caught up in someone else, an emotion that makes you want to be with that person constantly, to stare into their eyes and make up silly love songs ("Some people want to fill the world with (them), I say what's wrong with that..."). That's a great feeling but it's also a fleeting feeling, it can come and go; sometimes Ariane or I will look to the other and say, I'm really IN LOVE with you right now, and it's this feeling of which we speak. But romantic love is also a commitment, it's saying that even when I'm not "in love" with you that I'm still going to love you. That is to say, I'm going to put your needs and desires first, I'm going to try and increase your happiness and do what I know is right for our relationship. It's funny because sometimes this can be hard to do, let's face it, selfishness is an inborn trait of humanity, but at other times it's the easiest thing in the world to do. I suppose it comes somewhat with maturity but also with that first kind of love, the one that says I'm going to love you even when I don't feel like it.
So it might sound a little hippy-ish, or new age-ish, or even Christian-ish but I'm always trying to open myself up to love, to love life, to love family, to love work, to love all things up to and including you, whoever you are.
